Author Archives: dramarobyn

My husband and I are both frugal people. However, our methods of frugality vary enough that neither of us initially considered the other to be frugal. This difference is highlighted by a shopping trip that we had that included a peanut butter purchase. We were both looking for the cheapest option, but with different criteria.Continue reading “Financial Understanding”

Unity is essential to a happy marriage. However, “becoming one” can be difficult. A part of that difficulty comes from the uncertainty of what exactly it means. It doesn’t mean that either partner completely submits their needs, opinions, and emotions to their spouse. It doesn’t mean sacrificing all of your power or identity. That’s aContinue reading “Unity”

Sex. It is one the most important parts of marriage, but it can also be one of the most difficult parts of marriage. Why? First, people seem hesitant to talk about it. Dr. Gottman shares that “A significant obstacle to a happy sex life, however, is difficulty communicating about the topic clearly. Often couples “vagueContinue reading “Sex”

Last week I talked about the chronic pains within a marriage. Remember that the key to dealing with those is to be able to communicate in a positive way, compromise, and accept their permanency. What about when we can’t do that?  There are a few things that my husband and I haven’t managed to dealContinue reading “Gridlock”

I have chronically inflamed radial and median nerves. That basically comes down to me having numbness or pain in my wrists and hands frequently. It’s kind of like getting carpal tunnel in both of my wrists at the same time. Honestly, it really sucks. However, I’m learning to live with it. A big part ofContinue reading “Chronic Pain”

My husband is VERY touch-oriented. I like to sit near each other and hold hands. He likes to wrestle, tickle, and kiss me all over my face. It was the most frustrating and irritating thing EVER. I was constantly telling him to stop, pushing him away, and avoiding being too close to him. It didn’tContinue reading “Fix Yourself First”

Monday morning I realized that I needed a small notebook to help me with a homework assignment. I had no idea where to even begin to look for one at my house, so I asked my husband. He wasn’t sure either. This could have led to one of two actions on his part: he couldContinue reading “Bids”

Dr Gottman emphasizes the importance of “nurturing fondness and admiration” for your partner. A quick way to do this is to just spend a few minutes thinking of why you fell in love with your spouse and why you love them now. For example, I fell in love with my husband because he made meContinue reading “Cherishing”

When my husband feels overwhelmed in anyway, he shuts down. He needs time alone to process what happened and what he’s feeling. After that time, he’s ready to move on. It’s taken me four years to understand that. During the first 3 years of our marriage, I would try to force him to talk. ThatContinue reading “Assume the Best”

“[F]or I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me.” – Exodus 20:5 This verse from the Bible seems harsh. Why blame the children for the poor choices of their parents? It also contradicts several other versesContinue reading “Patterns”